#AREA
redBeerInn.are~
The Red Beer Inn~
{ ALL } Anasadi          The Red Beer Inn~
1 123

<help>
<topic name="area">
<topic name="Red Beer Inn" level="1">
The Red Beer Inn is found just outside the gates of Midgaard. It's a
friendly place, run by the retired trollslayer Karn, and boasts the finest
in Ayreonian ales. One can also find comfort in the Inn's historic beds,
slept in by several of the continent's most famous heroes.
</topic>
<topic name="Karn" level="51">
Karn was once Astrogoth's right-hand dwarf. But the loss of a forearm,
together with the flowing of the River of Time, forced this one-time mighty
trollslayer to give way to the younger generation. Nonetheless, Karn is one
bad-ass dwarf. Players shouldn't mess with him.
</topic>
</topic>
</help>

#MOBILES

#1
karn stonehammer grizzled barkeep owner trollslayer old dwarf~
#yKarn#n~
A grizzled old dwarf is busy serving bar patrons.
~
Advanced years and the lack of a right forearm do not appear to have slowed
the old dwarf down. Karn pours drinks and serves meals as if a dwarf half
his age with all body parts attached, and shows no signs of weariness. His
skin is a mass of scars; tufts of hair are missing from his long grey beard
in places where the skin has burned; his left ear has been pummeled so much
nothing is left save a small shrivelled mass of cauliflower-like cartilage;
several of his teeth are missing, and a long scar reaches from around his
right nostril down his cheek to his lower jaw. Despite the obvious trials
the dwarf has gone through, Karn keeps a jovial disposition, jovial in a
dwarf sort of way.
~
dwarf~
BGTfnwz ac 0 0
51 25 50d10+5000 1d1+999 5d8+20 smash
-21 -21 -21 -21
ACDFK ABCDLQ 0 0
stand stand M 0
0 0 medium 0
T greet mKarnGreeting 100~
T act mKarnOffer drinks~
T speech mKarnStory story~
T speech mKarnStory tale~
T speech mKarnStory yarn~
T random mKarnRandom 2~
T hour mKarnCleaning 16~
App 35
D Be honorable, and tell Lord Astragoth I await him on the other side.~

#2
ingrid barmaid nord female woman human~
#yIngrid#n~
A barmaid hustles about the room serving drinks to her thirsty customers.
~
She's a whirlwind of activity, turning from one table to the next, rushing
off to the bar with empty dishes in hand, returning with a tray laden with
steins and plates. A slight glaze of perspiration glistens on her face and
forehead, and her blonde curls limp slightly. Ingrid's blue eyes, however,
never lose their expression of satisfaction when seeing customers old and
new come to the inn to quench their thirsts.
~
human~
BGfnwz c 100 0
35 5 10d10+1300 1d1+999 4d7+11 slap
-11 -11 -11 -11
0 ABCDLQ 0 0
stand stand female 0
0 0 medium 0
T hour mBarmaidMove01 7~
T hour mBarmaidMove02 15~
T hour mBarmaidMove03 23~
T random mIngridRandom 2~
T greet mIngridGreet 100~
App 80

#3
nadine barmaid female woman human~
#yNadine#n~
A barmaid is taking orders for beer and bratwurst.
~
You notice when Nadine is around that the men, more than usual, glance up
from their beers and conversations to look at her. She has the face of an
angel, with big green eyes and a few freckles sprinkled across her small
nose. Her golden tresses, accentuated with auburn-red highlights, fall down
past her shoulders to her mid-back, ending in a silver frog on a
like-colored chain. Nadine's cheeks dimple as she smiles, and when you are
ready, she will be here to serve you.
~
human~
BGfnwz c 150 0
35 5 10d10+1300 1d1+999 4d7+11 slap
-11 -11 -11 -11
0 ABCDLQ 0 0
stand stand female 0
0 0 medium 0
T hour mBarmaidMove03 7~
T hour mBarmaidMove01 15~
T hour mBarmaidMove02 23~
T random mNadineRandom 2~
T greet mNadineGreet 100~
App 100

#4
katrina barmaid female woman human~
#yKatrina#n~
A barmaid is keeping an eye out for unwanted gropings.
~
Katrina is a lusty wench, wearing provacative clothes that play up her more
buxom features. Although she glances around her person often to avoid the
pinches and spanks, and scowls slightly when a hand actually lands, she
seems to enjoy the part of the unattainable tease. She is often brushing
away the dark locks of hair from her face to allow her customers a better
view, loosening with each swipe of her hand a little bit of the blue glitter
she uses to magnify her charms.
~
human~
BGfnwz c 125 0
35 5 10d10+1300 1d1+999 4d7+11 slap
-11 -11 -11 -11
0 ABCDLQ 0 0
stand stand female 0
0 0 medium 0
T hour mBarmaidMove02 7~
T hour mBarmaidMove03 15~
T hour mBarmaidMove01 23~
T random mKatrinaRandom 2~
T greet mKatrinaGreet 100~
T act mKatrinaPinch pinches your bottom and grins~
T act mKatrinaSpank spanks you playfully~
T hour mKatrinaClean 16~
App 90

#5
dietrich nord male man human~
#cDietrich#n~
A man sits with his back to the wall slowly nursing his beer.
~
He's a powerful-looking man, tall, muscular, a head full of long hair pulled
back into a pony-tail, and a thick handle-bar mustache that almost touches
ear to ear. He's sitting back in his chair, propped up against the wall on
two legs, and staring into the room with his stein of beer tucked between
his legs.
~
human~
BGwz c 0 0
37 0 10d10+1500 10d10+1500 3d10+12 beating
-12 -12 -12 -12
0 ABCDLQ 0 0
stand stand male 0
0 0 medium 0
T random mDietrichRandom 2~

#6
fyn half-elf male~
#cFyn#n~
A half-elf is recounting his travels and the places he's visited.
~
His dirt-stained clothes, the dried oil and grime on his face, and the
slight aura of armpit odor around his body attests to the outdoors life he
leads. He's a friendly sort, and Fyn might, if asked, be bothered for some
information concerning the places he's travelled to.
~
half elf~
BGRwz c 0 0
32 0 10d10+1000 10d10+1000 6d4+9 punch
-10 -10 -10 -10
0 ABCDLQ 0 0
stand stand male 0
0 0 medium 0
T random mFynRandom 2~
T speech mFynTravel travel~
T speech mFynTravel information~
T speech mFynTravel places~
T speech mFynAncientWoods woods~
T speech mFynCalan calan~
T speech mFynDarkMountain mountain~
T speech mFynKhanae khanae~
T speech mFynSogon sogon~
T speech mFynSurkan surkan~
T speech mFynQuest quest~
T give mFynReward :64:6402~

#7
degnar dwarf male~
#cDegnar#n~
A rosy-cheeked dwarf is loudly enjoying his ale.
~
Degnar likes his beer, and he's letting everyone know it. Not in so many
words, but this boisterous example of a dwarf talks big, laughs large, and
gives a mighty shout when his mug is empty. Perhaps the upcoming years of
battle will mellow out this short-beard; for now, however, this youngster
will enjoy his drink and his friends.
~
dwarf~
BGwz c 0 0
24 0 5d10+500 5d10+500 2d10+6 smash
-6 -6 -6 -6
0 ABCDL 0 0
stand stand male 0
0 0 medium 0
T random mDegnarRandom 2~
T delay mDegnarDelay 100~

#8
bippi halfling male~
#cBippi#n~
A halfling is telling ribald jokes to the others around him.
~
His laughter tends to get on people's nerves, but he does tell a good dirty
joke or two. He's a shorter, chubbier sort of halfling, and probably hails
from the local Shire. "Bippi's my name," he says when he notices you looking
at him. "Happen to know a good joke?"
~
halfling~
BGwz c 0 0
21 0 4d10+360 4d10+360 4d4+5 thwack
-5 -5 -5 -5
0 ABCDLQ 0 0
stand stand male 0
0 0 medium 0
T act mBippiRandomJoke01 random_funny~
T speech mBippiRandomJoke02 joke~

#9
weldon male man human~
#cWeldon#n~
A glassy-eyed man is barely able to stay awake to finish his drink.
~
The man's had a bit too much to drink. Weldon, though, still manages to keep
his dark eyes open, and will even respond to his fellows' jests and remarks.
He's a shortish man, stubble-faced and balding, a farmer most likely from
the clothes he wears. Like the other patrons here, he enjoys his beer, and
when the stein runs empty he'll bother the barmaid for another.
~
human~
BGwz c 0 0
28 0 6d12+703 6d12+703 2d12+7 punch
-8 -8 -8 -8
0 ABCDLQ 0 0
stand stand male 0
0 0 medium 0
T random mWeldonRandom 2~

#10
atmospheric mob~
an atmospheric mob~
An atmospheric mob stands here. Just ignore it.
~
What does the long description say?!
~
unique~
BGwxz e 0 0
60 0 50d10+10000 1d1+999 8d6+28 bash
-30 -30 -30 -30
0 ABCDLQ 0 0
stand stand none 0
0 0 medium 0
T random mAtmosphericMobRandom01 10~

#11
atmospheric mob~
an atmospheric mob~
An atmospheric mob stands here. Just ignore it.
~
What does the long description say?!
~
unique~
BGwxz e 0 0
60 0 50d10+10000 1d1+999 8d6+28 bash
-30 -30 -30 -30
0 ABCDLQ 0 0
stand stand none 0
0 0 medium 0
T random mAtmosphericMobRandom02 10~

#12
atmospheric mob~
an atmospheric mob~
An atmospheric mob stands here. Just ignore it.
~
What does the long description say?!
~
unique~
BGwxz e 0 0
60 0 50d10+10000 1d1+999 8d6+28 bash
-30 -30 -30 -30
0 ABCDLQ 0 0
stand stand none 0
0 0 medium 0
T random mAtmosphericMobRandom03 10~

#0

#OBJECTS

#1
stein brew inn red beer alcohol drink~
a #RRed Beer Inn#n stein~
A tall stein bearing the logo of the "#RRed Beer Inn#n" stands here.~
porcelain~
drink 0 AOz
4 4 'red beer' 0 0
1 20 20 P
E
stein brew inn red beer alcohol drink~
The stein is made especially for the Red Beer Inn, Ayreon's famed inn that
lies just outside the gates of Midgaard. The logo stamped into the bears the
name of the inn beneath the profile of a dwarf.
~
E
logo~
The logo on the stein displays the portrait of a dwarf in his middle years.
Above the portrait is the word "Karn's", and beneath the portrait are the
words "Red Beer Inn".
~

#2
bottle parlanorian pilzner drink~
a bottle of Parlanorian pilzner~
A tall, narrow bottle stands here.~
glass~
drink 0 AOz
2 2 'pilzner' 0 0
1 10 35 P
E
bottle parlanorian pilzner drink~
Imported from the eastern reaches of the Dragon Sea it is.
~

#3
green bottle wheat beer drink~
a green bottle of wheat beer~
A tall, green bottle rests here.~
glass~
drink 0 AOz
2 2 'wheat beer' 0 0
1 10 25 P
E
green bottle wheat beer drink~
The glass is a dark green, perhaps to help keep the beer inside cool.
~

#4
wooden mug dark ale drink~
a wooden mug of dark ale~
A mid-sized wooden mug sits here.~
wood~
drink 0 AOz
3 3 'dark ale' 0 0
1 15 15 P
E
wooden mug dark ale drink~
The mug is large enough to hold a drink or two.
~

#5
glass mug firebreather drink~
a glass mug of firebreather~
A clear glass mug rests here.~
glass~
drink 0 AOz
3 3 'firebreather' 0 0
1 15 15 P
E
glass mug firebreather drink~
The mug may shatter should you drop it.
~

#6
glass red wine drink~
a glass of red wine~
A tall, clear glass stands here.~
glass~
drink 0 AOz
2 2 'red wine' 0 0
1 10 30 P
E
glass red wine drink~
The glass resembles no wine glass you've seen before, but looks like a tube
with a blue tint at the lip.
~

#7
bratwurst tube meat pork food~
some bratwurst~
Some tube meat rests here, smelling of pork and spices.~
meat~
food 0 AOz
2 4 0 0 0
1 10 20 P
E
bratwurst tube meat pork food~
They call this a "heart-attack in casing" round these parts.
~

#8
sizzling weasel stick unusual meat food~
a sizzling weasel on a stick~
An unusual piece of meat lies here, sizzling with flavor.~
meat~
food AB AOz
4 6 0 0 0
1 15 35 P
E
sizzling weasel stick unusual meat food~
The real question is... where do they find the weasels to make this?
~

#9
slice ham meat food~
a slice of ham~
A slice of ham on a plate rests here.~
meat~
food 0 AOz
2 4 0 0 0
1 10 25 P
E
slice ham meat food~
Sauced in butter with a dash of pepper added. *sniff* Wonderful.
~

#10
brown shirt clothing~
a #ybrown#n dress shirt with the top two buttons undone~
A #ybrown#n shirt lies crumpled here.~
cloth~
clothing 0 ADz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 95 P
E
brown shirt clothing~
The shirt is fairly dinghy and stained with sweat. It's in need of a washing
if you plan on wearing it.
~

#11
leather breeches armor~
a pair of leather breeches~
Some leather breeches lay sprawled here.~
leather~
armor 0 AFz
1 1 1 1 1
1 20 110 P
E
leather breeches armor~
The breeches are not of the highest quality, but they'll do if nothing else
is around.
~

#12
greasy leather apron clothing~
a greasy #rleather#n apron~
A greasy #rleather#n apron lays about, dirtying up the place.~
leather~
clothing 0 ALz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 65 P
E
greasy leather apron clothing~
The apron smells of burnt pork and beer gone bad. Bleh.
~

#13
leather boots armor~
a pair of leather boots~
A pair of leather boots stands at attention.~
leather~
armor 0 AGz
1 1 1 1 1
1 20 100 P
E
leather boots armor~
The scuffed toes and eroded heels tell you the boots have been through a
lot.
~

#14
low-cut blue white dress clothing~
a low-cut #cblue#n-and-#wwhite#n-checkered dress~
A dress that looks like a picnic table cloth rests here.~
cloth~
clothing 0 ADz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 110 P
E
low-cut blue white dress clothing~
The dress tends to, ah, show a bit more than a lady might like.
~

#15
white cotton apron clothing container~
a #wwhite#n cotton apron~
A #wwhite#n cotton apron with a pocket lies here.~
cloth~
container 0 ALz
10 0 0 1 100
1 10 75 P
E
white cotton apron clothing container~
It's a little dirty, lightly stained with grease spots and beer, but can
serve well.
~

#16
blue bow ribbon clothing~
a big #Bblue#n bow with a trailing ribbon~
A long length of #Bblue#n ribbon tied into a bow is here.~
cloth~
clothing 0 AEz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 25 P
E
blue bow ribbon clothing~
The ribbon is about three fingers wide and nearly as long as a woman is
tall.
~

#17
wooden clogs shoes clothing~
a pair of #ywooden#n clogs~
Some shoes made of #ywood#n sit here.~
wood~
clothing 0 AGz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 60 P
E
wooden clogs shoes clothing~
Just slip 'em on and you're good to go.
~

#18
blue pinafore dress clothing~
a light-#cblue#n pinafore~
A sleeveless #cblue#n dress lies in a pile here.~
cloth~
clothing 0 ADz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 135 P
E
blue pinafore dress clothing~
It has a few stains from the waist down, but the pinafore will wear well.
~

#19
thin silver chain frog jewelry~
a long, thin #Wsilver#n chain with a frog pendent~
A long, thin #Wsilver#n chain with a frog pendant lies here.~
silver~
jewelry 0 AEz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 650 P
E
thin silver chain frog jewelry~
The frog at the end of the chain is not bigger than a man's thumbnail.
~

#20
blue slippers shoes clothing~
a pair of light-#cblue#n slippers~
Some #cblue#n slippers with a strap over the top sits here.~
plastic~
clothing 0 AGz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 73 P
E
blue slippers shoes clothing brass buckle~
The slippers each have a little #ybrass#n buckle to tighten them on.
~

#21
red shirt clothing~
a bright #Rred#n shirt with the top three buttons undone~
A bright #Rred#n shirt lies piled here.~
cloth~
clothing 0 ADz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 95 P
E
red shirt clothing~
No one would miss seeing the wearer of this shirt.
~

#22
black leather microminiskirt miniskirt skirt clothing~
a black leather microminiskirt~
A small cut of black leather lies here.~
leather~
clothing 0 AFz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 135 P
E
black leather microminiskirt miniskirt skirt clothing~
Ahem. What would your mother think?
~

#23
gold chain jewelry~
a thin #Ygold#n chain~
A thin #Ygold#n chain lays sprawled out here.~
gold~
jewelry 0 ACz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 435 P
E
gold chain jewelry~
The chain is long enough to wear around your neck.
~

#24
blue glitter trash~
some #Bblue#n glitter~
Some #Bblue#n glitter catches your eye.~
paper~
trash 0 AEz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 5 P
E
blue glitter trash~
Oooo sparkley!!
~

#25
black leather heels shoes clothing~
a pair of shiny black leather heels~
A pair of black leather heels reflects your image.~
leather~
clothing 0 AGz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 160 P
E
black leather heels shoes clothing~
They aren't too high, so they should be relatively easy to walk in.
~

#26
chain shirt tear armor~
a #wchain#n shirt with a tear across the breast~
Some #wchain#n mail here looks in need of repair~
iron~
armor 0 ADz
2 2 2 2 1
5 50 350 P
E
chain shirt tear armor~
This shirt has obviously been through some rough time. One might suppose,
from the tear in its middle, it cannot last much longer.
~

#27
torn leather breeches armor~
some torn leather breeches~
A pair of leather breeches lays here with a tear in the leg.~
leather~
armor 0 AFz
1 1 1 1 1
1 20 100 P
E
torn leather breeches armor~
They offer a little bit of protection. Against mosquitoes.
~

#28
steel-toed black leather boots armor~
a pair of #wsteel#n-toed black leather boots~
A pair of tough-looking leather boots stands here.~
leather~
armor 0 AGz
2 3 2 1 0
1 20 130 P
E
steel-toed black leather boots armor~
They seem to be able to fit your feet just fine.
~

#29
leather sheath brass trimming~
a #rleather#n sheath with #ybrass#n trimming~
A fancy #rleather#n sheath lies here unguarded.~
leather~
sheath 0 ASz
0 0 0 0 100
1 10 87 P
E
leather sheath brass trimming~
It's not fancy, but the sheath will carry most weapons.
~

#30
green shirt clothing~
a faded green shirt~
A green shirt that lies here has seen a little too much sun.~
cloth~
clothing 0 ADz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 15 P
E
green shirt clothing~
The previous owner obviously travelled a lot in this shirt.
~

#31
ragged leather jacket clothing~
a ragged leather jacket~
A leather jacket that has seen better days rests here.~
leather~
clothing 0 AKz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 102 P
E
ragged leather jacket clothing~
The leather is worn in spots almost to the point of tearing. But it will do
for travel.
~

#32
demin jeans clothing~
some #cdenim#n jeans~
A pair of #cdenim#n jeans lies piled here.~
cloth~
clothing 0 AFz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 151 P
E
demin jeans clothing~
The jeans need a couple small patches on both knees. They are wearable
otherwise.
~

#33
brown walking shoes clothing~
a pair of #ybrown#n walking shoes~
A #ybrown#n pair of shoes looks ready for a walk.~
leather~
clothing 0 AGz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 113 P
E
brown walking shoes clothing~
The shoes scuffed and battered. but still usable.
~

#34
brown leather satchel container~
a brown leather satchel~
A leather satchel has seen many places.~
leather~
container 0 AOz
50 A 0 40 100
1 10 90 P
E
brown leather satchel container~
The satchel appears capable of carrying a great many things.
~

#35
brown leather pullover clothing~
a brown leather pullover~
A large piece of leather lies here.~
leather~
clothing 0 ADz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 85 P
E
brown leather pullover clothing~
The leather pullover is of a very simple make; and used only when one has
nothing better to wear.
~

#36
stiff leather pants armor~
some stiff leather pants~
A pair of leather pants lies here with few wrinkles.~
leather~
armor 0 AFz
2 1 2 0 1
1 20 110 P
E
stiff leather pants armor~
With enough effort these leather pants will fit.
~

#37
soft-leather leather boots armor~
some short, soft-leather boots~
A pair of soft leather boots rests here.~
leather~
armor 0 AGz
1 1 1 1 1
1 20 120 P
E
soft-leather leather boots armor~
These boots are made for smaller feet, but they will stretch if pushed hard
enough.
~

#38
dark brown shirt clothing~
a dark #rbrown#n shirt~
Some #rbrown#n cloth lies in a heap here.~
cloth~
clothing 0 ADz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 70 P
E
dark brown shirt clothing~
The shirt's kinda small, something a child would likely wear.
~

#39
denim pants frayed clothing~
some #cdenim#n jeans frayed at the bottoms~
Some old #cdenim#n jeans lay crumpled here.~
cloth~
clothing 0 AFz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 100 P
E
denim pants frayed clothing~
The jeans are perhaps even a little over-frayed. Nevertheless they will fit
comfortably.
~

#40
green red flannel shirt clothing~
a #Gg#nree#Gn#n and #Rred#n flannel shirt~
A flannel shirt looks warm and comfortable.~
cloth~
clothing 0 ADz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 80 P
E
green red flannel shirt clothing~
The shirt may be warm, but there's a hint of sweat in it that doesn't seem
to want to go away.
~

#41
denim farmer overalls clothing~
a pair of #cdenim#n overalls~
Some farmer's overalls lie here.~
cloth~
clothing 0 AFz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 95 P
E
denim farmer overalls clothing~
These work jeans are rugged, made for outdoors labor.
~

#42
yellow rubber galoshes clothing~
a pair of #Yyellow#n rubber galoshes~
A big pair of #Yyellow#n galoshes stands here.~
rubber~
clothing 0 AGz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 80 P
E
yellow rubber galoshes clothing~
Yellow. Bright yellow. still, They'll keep the feet from getting wet if
worn.
~

#43
dirty cloth gloves clothing~
a dirty pair of cloth gloves~
Some gloves lying here have been through the mud.~
cloth~
clothing 0 AHz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 45 P
E
dirty cloth gloves clothing~
The gloves are slightly ratty from use, but are still in fair shape.
~

#44
wooden ashen table furniture~
an ashen table~
~
wood~
furniture OR z
0 1000 N 100 100
1 10000 0 P
E
wooden ashen table furniture~
The table, plain-looking and built of solid ash, is round and can seat up to
six people comfortably.
~

#45
wooden chairs furniture~
a chair~
~
wood~
furniture OR z
10 10000 EHK 100 100
1 10000 0 P
E
wooden chairs furniture~
The chairs in the room, like the tables, are very plain and built more for
strength than beauty. The chair in front of you is practically begging you
to sit down and have a beer or two.
~

#46
beds furniture~
a bed~
~
feathers~
furniture OR z
2 1000 EHK 100 100
1 10000 0 P
E
beds~
Each bed comes with a blanket and pillow, courtesy of the inn.
~

#47
cots furniture~
a cot~
~
canvas~
furniture OR z
2 1000 EHK 100 100
1 10000 0 P
E
cots~
There's also a pillow on each cot.
~

#48
wooden stools furniture~
a stool~
~
wood~
furniture OR z
5 5000 EH 100 100
1 10000 0 P
E
wooden stools furniture~
The stools are sturdy enough that an ogre can sit on one and it won't break.
Care to try?
~

#49
cask wooden drink~
a wooden cask~
A wooden cask sits here.~
wood~
drink 0 AOz
300 300 'red beer' 0 0
1 160 125 P
E
cask wooden drink~
The cask is in excellent shape. Kind of smallish, but it can hold a lot.
~

#50
panels panelling~
a panel~
~
wood~
container EH z
25 AC 0 5 100
1 10 0 P
E
panels panelling~
Many of the panels that adorn the side of the staircase are loose and
warped. Hmmm. There's even one that seems to be cracked open slightly.
~

#51
bottle wild turkey whiskey drink~
a bottle of #rw#yil#rd t#yurke#ry#n~
A bottle of high-proof #rw#yhiske#ry#n stands here.~
glass~
drink 0 A0z
24 24 'whiskey' 0 0
1 10 35 P
E
bottle wild turkey whiskey drink~
It *cough* sure goes down *cough* smooth. Whooooooooeeeeeeyaaah!
~

#52
dresser drawers~
a dresser~
~
wood~
container EH z
25 AC 0 5 100
1 10 0 P
E
dresser drawers~
The dresser is very plain and made just for the occasional overnight guest.
~

#53
book changes trash~
a book~
A book titled "The Book of Changes" rests here.~
paper~
trash 0 AOz
0 0 0 0 0
1 10 0 P
E
book changes trash~
It's a small book, bound in heavy paper, and titled "The Book of Changes".
You open it up... hm, blank pages.
~

#0

#ROOMS

#1
The Walk to the Red Beer Inn~
A gravel walkway leads a body straight to the entrance of the Red Beer Inn
just north of here. The west side of the walkway is bordered by an unkempt
thatch of thorny #Gs#nhrub#Gs#n, over which hovers a thin, black lanternpost. East
is a narrow strip of grassy lawn. A small statue, grey and humanoid-looking,
stands in its midst. A little futher north on the lawn and close to the walk
a #ysign#n, mounted on a wooden post and buried into the ground, tells the name
of the inn and the current proprietor. The walk continues southwards through
another pair of #Gs#nhrub#Gs#n to a road beyond.
~
0 0 1
D0
You see the entrance to the inn that way.
~
door~
33 -1 2
D2
There's a road over there.
~
~
0 -1 :71:6001
E
walkway gravel~
The gravel is very plain.
~
E
shrubs~
You cannot tell what kind they are, but know you don't want to stick your
hands in them.
~
E
lanternpost light~
The light that burns within the lantern bathes the shrubs and walkway in a
soft #yy#Yello#n#yw#n glow.
~
E
ground lawn grass~
The grass is well-watered and pleasant to the touch.
~
E
statue humanoid gnome~
Haha! It's a lawn gnome picking his fat nose!
~
E
sign wooden post inn~
The sign reads:
   ____________________________________
  |\__________________________ ________\
  | |                         -        |
  | |         Ayreon's Finest          |
  )\|   ___ ___ ___  ___ ___ ___ ___   |
  |\)   |-< |-_ |_>  |=] |-_ |-_ |-{   |
  | |           ___ _ _ _ _            |
  | |           _|_ |\| |\|           <
  | |                                  |
  | |      prop. Karn Stonehammer      |
   \|__________________________________|
                  |     |

Beneath the sign you see a small grey stone with a plaque on it.
~
E
road~
You'll have to go there to find out.
~
E
door~
Simple oak with a brass handle, nothing more.
~
E
brass handle~
It's a brass handle. You need more elaboration?!
~
E
grey stone plaque~
The plaque reads:

  +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
  +                                 +
  +    (c) 2001 Dawn of the Ages    +
  +        (c) 2001 Anasadi         +
  +       All Rights Reserved       +
  +                                 +
  +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
~
M 100 H 100
S

#2
The Entrance to the Red Beer Inn~
The noises of drinking and merriment beckon from the barroom to the east.
Here the inn's patrons hang their #ycoats#n and #yhats#n on the racks that stand
next to the wall, seemingly unconcerned that a thief might sweep off with
them. The room is bare of any other adornment save for a small lantern
hooked an ogre's height upon the northern wall. There is also a door to the
south, where the occasional boozy but merry customer passes through it to
the walkway beyond.
~
0 0 0
D1
The beer flows freely that way.
~
~
0 -1 3
D2
When the door opens, and patrons are always passing through it, you see a
gravel pathway.
~
door~
33 -1 1
E
entrance inn~
It's all around you.
~
E
coats hats~
The coats and hats are generally what you'd see on farmers and workmen.
~
E
racks~
Made of simple oak, the racks can hold three or four sets of coats and hats
apiece.
~
E
lantern~
The lantern is kept lit, day and night.
~
E
walls ceiling~
The walls and ceiling are wooden, and bare.
~
E
floor~
The floor appears well-swept.
~
E
door~
Simple oak with a brass handle, nothing more.
~
E
brass handle~
It's a brass handle. You need more elaboration?!
~
M 100 H 100
S

#3
A Room Filled with Tables~
Half a dozen tables stand about the noisy room, surrounded by inn patrons
and topped with plates, bowls, bottles, and mugs. Chairs also crowd the
floor, many of them occupied but a few stand empty and wait for the next
lucky guest. A dart board hangs just off-center on the southern wall;
nobody's playing, being too occupied in their beer and cheer to care. The
barmaids move deftly in and out between the tables (and the occasional slap
on the rear), frequenting the bar off to the north and returning with
near-overflowing trays. When customers eventually have had their fill of
good meals and good times, they leave west -- sometimes staggering,
sometimes not -- through a room of coat-laden racks.
~
0 0 0
D0
The bar over there bustles with customers and barmaids.
~
~
0 -1 5
D1
The tables continue that way.
~
~
0 -1 4
D3
There aren't too many racks, but the ones you see are overstocked with coats
and hats.
~
~
0 -1 2
E
plates bowls bottles mugs ceramic~
The dishes on the tables appear to be fine ceramic. You guess the owner
should only want the best for his guests.
~
E
darts board~
The board is dusty and hasn't been used for a long time. No wonder -- there
are only three darts pegged into the board, and one of them is missing a
tail.
~
E
bar~
The bar does appear to be where all the action is taking place.
~
E
trays~
The barmaids use them to carry their orders.
~
M 100 H 100
S

#4
A Room Filled with Tables~
Logs of pine slowly burn in the #d#lgrey#n stone fireplace attached to the east
end of the room, overpowering the scent of beer and old sweat with its own
deep woods fragrance. Attached to the stone above the opening of the hearth
a trophy lunges out into the room; it is actually the head and hands of a
#d#ltroll#n, stuffed and mounted and made to look alive. Folks from all around the
area sit around the handful of tables spread around the room, enjoying the
drinks in their hands and the company of their neighbors. They may even
relish a new friend or two.
~
0 0 0
D0
The tables continue that way, and there's also a staricase leading up.
~
~
0 -1 6
D3
The drinking and partying continue in that direction.
~
~
0 -1 3
E
pine logs stone hearth fireplace stack~
The fireplace is large enough to fit a spit with a boar, although there is
no set-up for that function. Next to the fireplace on the right is a small
stack of logs, from which a barmaid will occasionally borrow and toss a log
into the flames.
~
E
trophy head hands troll tin-plated plaque~
Beneath the head is a tin-plated plaque, which reads "Ol' Butch -- Never Has
Karn Killed a Meaner Troll". Even now Butch looks like he's about to reach
out and eat someone. You perhaps?
~
E
plates bowls bottles mugs ceramic~
The dishes on the tables appear to be fine ceramic. You guess the owner
should only want the best for his guests.
~
E
walls ceiling~
The walls and ceiling are bare of ornament, excepting the lamps which hang
out from the walls, spaced apart every two paces or so.
~
E
floor~
The floor appears well-swept.
~
E
lamps~
The lamps are kept lit, day and night.
~
M 100 H 100
S

#5
The Red Inn Bar~
The bar is a buzz of activity, barmaids coming and going, customers on the
stools calling for more brews, the sizzle of meat grilling on the fire pit
behind the bar. Several barrels line the north wall next to the grill, and
another couple occupy the west end of the bar. A full-length mirror covers
the wall above the grill; the bartender likely doesn't trust anyone behind
his back. A sign that reads "For Troublemakers" is nailed high on the west
wall, and bolted beneath it is a large double-bladed battleaxe with a nick
or two notched into the blades. The inn continues towards tables both east
and south. Peeking over the bar one also notices a trapdoor in the floor.
~
0 0 0
D1
Everyone is having a good time over there. You also see a staircase rising
to the second floor of this inn.
~
~
0 -1 6
D2
Nearly every chair is filled with cheerful, carefree customers.
~
~
0 -1 3
D5
It's difficult to see down there.
~
trapdoor~
33 -1 11
E
trapdoor~
The trapdoor is easy to spot; the owner of the inn made no attempt to hide
it.
~
E
bar trimming painting~
The bar, like the other furniture you see, is made simply of wood with brass
trimming. The front of the bar has a picture of the inn painted on it, with
the word "Karn's" painted above the picture, and "Red Beer Inn" painted
below.
~
E
fire pit meat grill bin~
The wood coals are always kept burning: the customers don't stop so neither
can the cooking. Next the the pit and slightly underneath it a metal bin
holding more wood.
~
E
barrels~
Each barrel is labelled with a particular name of beer above the tap. You
can bet each is ready for the next parched throat.
~
E
mirror~
Why, you see your own reflection! The bottom of the mirror is smeared with
grease stains from the fire pit; elsewise it's unremarkable.
~
E
sign axe battleaxe blades lock bolt~
The axe has seen a lot of action by the looks of it, and is made for the
powerful hands of a dwarf. The handle is made of an unadorned dark metal,
with grooves for the fingers of its bearer, and it forms one single piece
with the blades. Unfortunately for would-be thieves the weapon is bolted
down with a complicated lock, and it's likely protected by a dweomer of a
protective nature.
~
E
tables chairs~
You'll need to go over to them for a better look.
~
E
floor~
It's fairly clean. Drinks are sometimes spilled there, making for a sticky
situation.
~
E
ceiling~
A few small lamps hang from hooks there, but is otherwise unremarkable.
~
E
walls~
What does the room description say?
~
E
lamps~
The lamps are kept lit, day and night.
~
E
hooks~
Lamps hang off of them.
~
M 100 H 100
S

#6
Near the Stairs~
A narrow staircase leads upwards along the east wall to the the second floor
of the inn. Above every third step about the height of a gnome a small piece
of glass covers a sunken shelf, four in all, each one holding an object of
some sort. Merrymakers make it difficult to access the steps, all of them
enjoying their dinners and drinks and inviting the passers by to stop and
join their ranks. A few chairs remain open to those who want to stay and
give short shrift to the cares of the world.
~
0 0 0
D2
More tables are over there, as well as a fireplace.
~
~
0 -1 4
D3
The bar that way is just a buzz of activity with all the new orders for food
and drink constantly coming in.
~
~
0 -1 5
D4
The stairs lead up to the second floor of the inn.
~
~
0 -1 7
E
stairs stairway~
The stairs are well-made but not much to look at. They are plain, no frills
attached, and the steps are just wide enough to keep from losing one's
balance. There's a small door located on the side of the staircase.
~
E
glass shelf shelves object~
From the bottom going up: the first shelf holds a copper wristlet; the
second holds a green statuette; the third a steel claw; and the last
contains a wooden mug.
~
E
copper wristlet cloth~
Tarnished and adorned with cheap stones, the wristlet looks big enough to
fit the arm of a giant. The piece rests on a brown cloth dabbed in scarlet.
~
E
green statuette~
The statue resembles a female dwarf, short, broadly built and bearded. She's
adorned in all manner of jewellery, and the expression on her face is one of
laughter.
~
E
steel claw talons ankle~
The claw is so life-like it quite possibly is not an object of artifice. The
talons are curled into the action of grasping, each one twice the length and
thickness of a man's index finger. The claw was... cut? just above the ankle
and rests upright in the shelf.
~
E
wooden mug~
The mug is ordinary, if just a little oversized.
~
E
plates bowls bottles mugs ceramic dinners drinks~
The dishes on the tables appear to be fine ceramic. You guess the owner
should only want the best for his guests.
~
E
walls ceiling~
The walls and ceiling are bare of ornament, excepting the lamps which hang
out from the walls, spaced apart every two paces or so.
~
E
floor~
The floor appears well-swept.
~
E
lamps~
The lamps are kept lit, day and night.
~
E
door brooms pails rags supplies~
The door underneath the stairs is slightly ajar, and from what you can see
inside there's a couple brooms, a pail, a stack of rags, and other assorted
cleaning supplies.
~
M 100 H 100
S


#7
The Hallway on the Second Floor~
The hallway is bare of any decor or furnishings and is simply a way for the
guests of the inn to come and go from and to their nightly lodgings. Lamps
light the way westwards where the hall continues, and the stairway in the
corner leads down to the noise of revelry below. There is also a door to the
south.
~
0 0 0
D2
A doorway stands right in front of you.
~
door~
33 -1 8
D3
The hall continues that way.
~
~
0 -1 9
D5
There's a lot of laughter and loud talking coming from down there,
~
~
0 -1 6
E
walls ceiling~
The walls and ceiling are bare of ornament, excepting the lamps which hang
out from the walls, spaced apart every two paces or so on either side of the
hall.
~
E
floor~
The floor is so clean your mother would eat off of it.
~
E
lamps~
The lamps are kept lit, day and night.
~
E
door~
The door is wooden and easily opened and closed.
~
M 100 H 100
S

#8
An Empty Sleeping Room~
Two small beds rest next to the west and east walls, respectively, with
their heads tucked into the shorter part of the slant formed by the ceiling
with the north and south walls. On either side of the door to the north a
small dresser sits, each with two drawers, the one to the east with an empty
ceramic bowl on top. Except for a lamp that burns between the two beds there
are no other furnishings; even the walls are bare of painting or window. The
beds are made, the floor is clean -- the room is ready for a new guest.
~
0 0 0
D0
A doorway is there.
~
door~
33 -1 7
E
beds pillows blankets~
Each bed comes with a blanket and pillow, courtesy of the inn.
~
E
dressers drawers knobs~
The dressers are plain and functional pieces, made of pine and fitted with
wooden knobs on each drawer.
~
E
ceramic bowl basin~
The bowl looks big enough to serve as a wash basin for the face and hands.
~
E
lamp~
The lamp is small and made of black metal, and is open to the air,
presumably to allow sleepers to blow out the flame.
~
E
walls~
The walls are bare of decoration.
~
E
ceiling~
The ceiling likely slants parallel to the roof of the inn.
~
E
floor~
Someone does a fine job of keeping the floor swept of dirt and other
particles.
~
M 100 H 100
S

#9
The Hallway~
A portrait hangs on the wall at the end of this hallway, to the west, and it
depicts an ogre-like figure with a hammer slung over and resting on his
shoulder. A covered lamp is hooked next to it on the right, similar to other
lamps that light the hallway as it continues east. The hall is otherwise
bare of furnishings, unless one counts the wood trim between the walls and
ceiling and between the walls and floor, or includes the door to the south.
~
0 0 0
D1
The hall continues that way.
~
~
0 -1 7
D2
A doorway stands right in front of you.
~
door~
33 -1 10
E
portrait ogre hammer label frame throm griffons~
A small metal label attached to the frame of the portrait reads "Throm the
Half-Ogre". Throm, the figure in the picture, isn't so bad-looking a beast,
and wields his hammer well. He is depicted standing with one large foot
resting on a small grey boulder; behind him in the distance two griffins,
one above either shoulder, fly against a red and orange horizon.
~
E
walls ceiling~
The walls and ceiling are bare of ornament, excepting the lamps which hang
out from the walls, spaced apart every two paces or so on both sides of the
hallway.
~
E
floor~
The floor is well-swept.
~
E
lamps~
The lamps are kept lit, day and night.
~
E
door~
The door is plain, and looks easy enough to open or close.
~
M 100 H 100
S

#10
An Empty Sleeping Room~
The room is a bit on the small side, and contains only two cots and a short
two-drawer dresser next to the wall behind the door. The ceiling slants from
just above the door down to the south wall, only high enough there to give
comfortable walking room to a human child. The heads of the cots nest at the
bottom of the slant, one on either side of the room, and each with a folded
blanket at its foot. Slight shadows along the ceiling and walls dance to the
flickering light of a small metal lamp sitting on the floor between the
cots. The place is swept clean and kept tidy, making it a pleasure for weary
travellers in which to stay the night.
~
0 0 0
D0
A door is there.
~
door~
33 -1 9
E
cots pillows~
There's also a pillow on each cot.
~
E
blankets~
The blankets look warm and comfortable.
~
E
walls~
The walls are bare of decoration.
~
E
ceiling~
The ceiling likely slants parallel to the roof of the inn.
~
E
lamp~
The lamp is small and made of black metal, and is open to the air,
presumably to allow sleepers to blow out the flame.
~
E
floor~
Someone does a fine job of keeping the floor swept of dirt and other
particles.
~
M 100 H 100
S

#11
The Beer Cellar~
The cellar is fairly large, and beer by the barrel-full lay one on top of
the other along two walls and the staircase going up. The western wall is
home to a few empty casks and a mini-brewery, where the owner prepares his
own special brand. Two chairs sit next to the brewery, and midway up the
wall above the brewery a large wooden mallet rests on a shelf. The room is
dark and cool. Muffled noises from above, shouts, laughter, and the
screeching of chairs along the floor make suggestions to the ear of the
amusements happening upstairs.
~
0 A 0
D4
There's fun going on up there.
~
trapdoor~
33 -1 5
E
trapdoor~
It shouldn't be too difficult to open.
~
E
cellar~
It's all around you.
~
E
barrels beer~
The barrels of beer are all labelled according to stock and date, "Karn's
Red -- 13 Walkana", "Parlanorian Pilzner -- 5 Tantalan", and so on.
~
E
staircase~
The staircase is not well-maintained -- cracks line not a few of the steps
and the panelling along the side is warped -- but it isn't likely to break
even under the weight of a fat dwarf.
~
E
casks~
They are merely awaiting liquid gold.
~
E
brewery mini-brewery still~
Among more lawful types, this is what you'd call a "still".
~
E
chairs~
They appear a bit rickety. Try one of them out and see what happens.
~
E
shelf mallet~
The mallet is likely used to break open new caskets. Unfortunately it's
locked tight to the shelf, so there's no taking it.
~
E
ceiling rafters cobwebs~
A number of large, dusty cobwebs hang along the ceiling rafters, as well as
a few hooks.
~
E
hooks~
They're there for hanging lamps, presumably.
~
E
floor ground dirt~
The floor is all dirt. Less work that way.
~
E
walls~
Floor to ceiling barrels they are.
~
M 100 H 100
S

#0

#RESETS

M 0 1 1 5 1       * setting karn to room 5
G 0 1 -1            * giving karn a red stein
G 0 2 -1            * giving karn a bottle of pilzner
G 0 3 -1            * giving karn a bottle of wheat beer
G 0 4 -1            * giving karn a mug of dark ale
G 0 5 -1            * giving karn a glass of firebreather
G 0 6 -1            * giving karn a glass of wine
E 0 10 -1 5         * equipping karn with a brown shirt
E 0 11 -1 7         * equipping karn with a pair of breeches
E 0 12 -1 13        * equipping karn with a leather apron
E 0 13 -1 8         * equipping karn with a pair of boots
M 0 2 1 3 1       * setting ingrid in room 3
G 0 1 -1            * giving ingrid a red stein
G 0 3 -1            * giving ingrid a bottle of wheat beer
G 0 4 -1            * giving ingrid a mug of dark ale
G 0 5 -1            * giving ingrid a glass of firebreather
G 0 6 -1            * giving ingrid a glass of wine
G 0 7 -1            * giving ingrid some bratwurst
E 0 14 -1 5         * equipping ingrid with a blue dress
E 0 15 -1 13        * equipping ingrid with a white apron
E 0 16 -1 6         * equipping ingrid with a blue bow
E 0 17 -1 8         * equipping ingrid with some wooden clogs
M 0 3 1 6 1       * setting nadine in room 6
G 0 1 -1            * giving nadine a red stein
G 0 2 -1            * giving nadine a bottle of pilzner
G 0 3 -1            * giving nadine a bottle of wheat beer
G 0 5 -1            * giving nadine a glass of firebreather
G 0 6 -1            * giving nadine a glass of wine
G 0 8 -1            * giving nadine a sizzling weasel
E 0 18 -1 5         * equipping nadine with a blue pinafore
E 0 19 -1 6         * equipping nadine with a silver chain
E 0 20 -1 8         * equipping nadine with some blue slippers
M 0 4 1 4 1       * setting katrina in room 4
G 0 1 -1            * giving katrina a red stein
G 0 2 -1            * giving katrina a bottle of pilzner
G 0 3 -1            * giving katrina a bottle of wheat beer
G 0 4 -1            * giving katrina a mug of dark ale
G 0 5 -1            * giving katrina a glass of firebreather
G 0 9 -1            * giving katrina a slice of ham
E 0 21 -1 5         * equipping katrina with a red shirt
E 0 22 -1 7         * equipping katrina with a black micromini
E 0 23 -1 3         * equipping katrina with a gold chain
E 0 24 -1 6         * equipping katrina with some blue glitter
E 0 25 -1 8         * equipping katrina with some black heels
M 0 5 1 4 1       * setting dietrich in room 4
E 0 26 -1 5         * equipping dietrich with a chain shirt
E 0 27 -1 7         * equipping dietrich with some torn breeches
E 0 28 -1 8         * equipping dietrich with some leather boots
E 0 29 -1 25        * equipping dietrich with a leather sheath
M 0 6 1 4 1       * setting fyn in room 4
E 0 30 -1 5         * equipping fyn with a green shirt
E 0 31 -1 12        * equipping fyn with a ragged jacket
E 0 32 -1 7         * equipping fyn with some denim jeans
E 0 33 -1 8         * equipping fyn with some brown shoes
E 0 34 -1 17        * equipping fyn with a brown satchel
M 0 7 1 6 1       * setting degnar in room 6
E 0 35 -1 5         * equipping degnar with a leather pullover
E 0 36 -1 7         * equipping degnar with some leather pants
E 0 37 -1 8         * equipping degnar with some leather boots
M 0 8 1 6 1       * setting bippi in room 6
E 0 38 -1 5         * equipping bippi with a brown shirt
E 0 39 -1 7         * equipping bippi with some denim pants
M 0 9 1 6 1       * setting weldon in room 6
E 0 40 -1 5         * equipping weldon with a flannel shirt
E 0 41 -1 7         * equipping weldon with some denim overalls
E 0 42 -1 8         * equipping weldon with some yellow galoshes
E 0 43 -1 9         * equipping weldon with some dirty gloves
M 0 10 1 2 1      * setting an atmospheric mob in room 2
M 0 11 2 8 1      * setting an atmospheric mob in room 8
M 0 11 2 9 1      * setting an atmospheric mob in room 9
M 0 12 1 11 1     * setting an atmospheric mob in room 11
O 0 44 3 3        * loading a table into room 3
O 0 44 3 4        * loading a table into room 4
O 0 44 3 6        * loading a table into room 6
O 0 45 3 3        * loading a chair into room 3
O 0 45 3 4        * loading a chair into room 4
O 0 45 3 6        * loading a chair into room 6
O 0 46 1 8        * loading a bed into room 8
O 0 47 1 10       * loading a cot into room 10
O 0 48 1 5        * loading a stool into room 5
O 0 49 -1 11      * loading a cask into room 11
O 0 50 1 11       * loading a panel into room 11
P 0 51 1 50 1       * putting some whiskey into the panel
O 0 52 1 10       * loading a dresser into room 10
P 0 53 1 52 1       * putting a book into the dresser
D 0 1 0 B         * resetting the north door in room 1
D 0 2 2 B         * resetting the south door in room 2
D 0 7 2 B         * resetting the south door in room 7
D 0 8 0 B         * resetting the north door in room 8
D 0 9 2 B         * resetting the south door in room 9
D 0 10 0 B        * resetting the north door in room 10
D 0 5 5 B         * resetting the down door in room 5
D 0 11 4 B        * resetting the up door in room 11
S

#SHOPS
1 0 0 0 0 0 115 25 0 23 20 20 20 * Karn
2 0 0 0 0 0 115 25 0 23 20 20 20 * Ingrid
3 0 0 0 0 0 115 25 0 23 20 20 20 * Nadine
4 0 0 0 0 0 115 25 0 23 20 20 20 * Katrina
0

#SPECIALS
M 6 spec_cast_mage
S

#MOBPROGS

#mKarnGreeting
if rand 10
   say Hold on a sec, I'll be right witcha.
   emote begins pouring beer from a tap.
else
   if rand 10
      say What can I gitcha?
      emote holds a stein up to the light and examines it.
   endif
endif
~

#mKarnOffer
if rand 20
   say Can I git ya' another, $N?
endif
~

#mKarnStory
if rand 50
   if rand 25
      mob setscript $i sKarnStory01 2 false
   else
      if rand 25
         mob setscript $i sKarnStory02 2 false
      else
         if rand 25
            mob setscript $i sKarnStory03 2 false
         else
            mob setscript $i sKarnStory04 1 false
         endif
      endif
   endif
else
   if rand 20
      mob setscript $i sKarnStory05 2 false
   else
      if rand 20
         mob setscript $i sKarnStory06 2 false
      else
         if rand 20
            mob setscript $i sKarnStory07 2 false
         else
            mob setscript $i sKarnStory08 1 false
         endif
      endif
   endif
endif
~

#mKarnRandom
if rand 5
   mob setscript $i sKarnRandom01 1 false
else
   if rand 5
      mob setscript $i sKarnRandom02 1 false
   else
      if rand 5
         mob setscript $i sKarnRandom03 1 false
      else
         if rand 5
            mob echo "You hear loud, boisterous laughter from someone across the room."
         endif
      endif
   endif
endif
~

#mKarnCleaning
if rand 50
   mob setscript $i sKarnCleaning01 2 false
else
   mob setscript $i sKarnCleaning02 2 false
endif
~

#mBarmaidMove01
if room $i == :185:6
   w
   emote fills her tray with food and drinks as she passes the bar.
   s
else
   emote leaves the room.
   mob goto :185:3
   emote arrives to serve her customers.
endif
~

#mBarmaidMove02
if room $i == :185:3
   e
else
   emote leaves the room.
   mob goto :185:4
   emote arrives to serve her customers.
endif
~

#mBarmaidMove03
if room $i == :185:4
   n
else
   emote leaves the room.
   mob goto :185:6
   emote arrives to serve her customers.
endif
~

#mIngridRandom
if rand 20
   mob echo "Someone at another table begins chuckling loudly."
else
   if rand 20
      mob echo "You overhear #yIngrid#n taking an order for more beer from another customer."
   else
      if rand 20
         mob echo "A drunk wobbles and nearly trips over his own feet."
         mob echoat $r "The drunk #Gspews#n chunks at you!!"
         mob echoaround $r "The drunk #Gspews#n chunks at $R!!"
         mob echo "#wThe drunk says ''Scuse me.'#n"
         mob echo "The drunk wobbles out of the room."
      endif
   endif
endif
~

#mIngridGreet
if rand 25
   say How might I serve you?
   smile $n
endif
~

#mNadineRandom
if rand 10
   mob echo "One of the patrons has just fallen out of his chair, setting off a round of laughter from the folks around him."
else
   if rand 20
      emote reaches over to grab plates and steins off a table.
   else
      if rand 10
         emote serves a customer with beer and bratwurst.
      endif
   endif
endif
~

#mNadineGreet
if rand 25
   smile $n
   say May I help you?
endif
~

#mKatrinaRandom
if rand 10
   mob echo "Someone's clanging their fork against a plate to grab another's attention."
else
   if rand 20
      emote quickly moves out of the way of a hand reaching for her tushie.
   else
      if rand 10
         emote barely manages to escape a pinch to her bottom.
         giggle
         say Nice try!
         emote then slaps the offender. Ouch!
      endif
   endif
endif
~

#mKatrinaGreet
if rand 25
   say What'll it be, please?
   smile $n
endif
~

#mKatrinaPinch
if ispc $n
   mob echoat $n "$I slaps you roundly! Ouch!"
   mob echoaround $n "$I slaps $N roundly! Ouch!"
endif
~

#mKatrinaSpank
if ispc $n
   growl $n
   mob echoat $n "$I pours a mug of beer into your lap!"
   mob echoaround $n "$I pours a mug of beer into $N's lap!"
   mob echo "The other patrons begin to laugh."
endif
~

#mKatrinaClean
if rand 50
   mob setscript $i sKatrinaClean 2 false
endif
~

#mDietrichRandom
if rand 20
   emote rocks back and forth in his chair, slowly nursing his beer.
endif
~

#mFynRandom
if rand 5
   mob setscript $i sFynRandom 2 false
else
   if rand 20
      emote drinks some beer from his stein.
   endif
endif
~

#mFynTravel
if ispc $n
   say Sure, I'll be glad to help where I can.
   say You can ask me about the Ancient #cWoods#n#w, the town of #cCalan#n#w, Dark #cMountain#n#w...#n
   emote takes a drink of his beer.
   say the desert of #cKhanae#n#w, the island of #cSogon#n#w, or even the village of #cSurkan#n#w.#n
   chuckle
   say And I won't even charge you for it.
endif
~

#mFynAncientWoods
if ispc $n
   mob setscript $i sFynAncientWoods 1 false
endif
~
   
#mFynCalan
if ispc $n
   mob setscript $i sFynCalan 2 false
endif
~

#mFynDarkMountain
if ispc $n
   mob setscript $i sFynDarkMountain 2 false
endif
~

#mFynKhanae
if ispc $n
   mob setscript $i sFynKhanae 2 false
endif
~

#mFynSogon
if ispc $n
   mob setscript $i sFynSogon 2 false
endif
~

#mFynSurkan
if ispc $n
   mob setscript $i sFynSurkan 2 false
endif
~

#mFynQuest
if ispc $n
   mob setscript $i sFynQuest 2 false
endif
~
   
#mFynReward
if ispc $n
   mob setscript $i sFynReward 2 false
endif
~

#mDegnarRandom
if rand 5
   emote laughs out loud.
   say Ha! Now THAT was funny!
else
   if rand 5
      mob echo "#cDegnar#n#y yells 'Another round over here!'#n"
      mob asound "#ySomeone yells 'Another round over here!'#n"
   else
      if rand 10
         mob echoat bippi "random_funny"
         mob delay 20
      else
         if rand 10
            if mobhere 4
               emote tries to pinch #yKatrina#n's rear-end.
               mob echo "#yKatrina#n quickly moves out of the way!"
               mob force katrina growl $i
            endif
         endif
      endif
   endif
endif
~

#mDegnarDelay
if rand 20
   emote finishes off his beer and looks around for the barmaid.
endif
~

#mBippiRandomJoke01
if rand 20
   mob setscript $i sBippiJoke01 2 false
else
   if rand 20
      mob setscript $i sBippiJoke02 2 false
   else
      if rand 20
         mob setscript $i sBippiJoke03 2 false
      else
         if rand 20
            mob setscript $i sBippiJoke04 2 false
         else
            if rand 20
               mob setscript $i sBippiJoke05 2 false
            endif
         endif
      endif
   endif
endif
~

#mBippiRandomJoke02
if rand 
   mob setscript $i sBippiJoke06 2 false
else
   if rand 20
      mob setscript $i sBippiJoke07 2 false
   else
      if rand 20
         mob setscript $i sBippiJoke08 2 false
      else
         mob setscript $i sBippiJoke09 1 false
      endif
   endif
endif
~

#mWeldonRandom
if rand 10
   emote just about falls asleep when he jerks his head up with a start.
else
   if rand 10
      emote takes a drowsy sip of beer.
   endif
endif
~

#mAtmosphericMobRandom01
if rand 10
   mob setscript $i sAtmosphericMobRandom01 2 false
else
   if rand 10
      mob setscript $i sAtmosphericMobRandom02 2 false
   else
      if rand 20
         mob echo "The noise of drinking and laughter from the east interrupts your thoughts."
      endif
   endif
endif
~

#mAtmosphericMobRandom02
if rand 10
   mob echo "You hear the joyful noise of merrymaking below you."
endif
~

#mAtmosphericMobRandom03
if rand 10
   mob echo "You hear the joyful noise of merrymaking above you."
endif
~

#0

#SCRIPTS

#sKarnRandom01
{mob echo "A barmaid calls out, 'Karn, another round of red over here.'"}
{chuckle}
{say People never get tired of the stuff.}
{emote grabs several mugs off the shelf and begins pouring red beer from a barrel.}
~

#sKarnRandom02
{mob echo "A barmaid rushes up to the counter with an empty tray."}
{mob echo "#wThe barmaid asks, 'Have my order ready?'#n"}
{nod}
{mob echo "The barmaid smiles in return."}
{mob echo "Quickly gathering up the plates and steins, the barmaid dashes off, sloshing red beer over the counter, stool, amd floor."}
{say Hey! Watch out! Payin' cust'mers here!}
{growl}
{emote begins wiping up the mess.}
~

#sKarnRandom03
{mob echo "You hear someone fall out of a chair at the far end of the room."}
{grumble}
~

#sKarnStory01
{chuckle}
{say I remember when me an' my squadron wuz up in th' mountains of Belarion.}
{say Can't rightly recall who sent us there, I was a short-beard den.}
{say But we wuz told t' hunt down this troll by th' name of Gart.}
{
say He wuz a nasty buzzard. Killed a dozen or so of'r kin.;
mob echo "Karn's hand accidently tips over a stein of beer."
}
{
say Dagnabbit!;
grumble
}
{emote reaches for a towel to clean up the mess.}
{
say Anywayz...;
emote begins sopping up spilled beer.
}
{say We looked for him five days and found nuthin'. Then...}
{
emote grabs an empty stein and begins pouring beer from a barrel.;
say It was close to sun down, and I went o'er t' take a pee in th' river.
}
{
say I'll be durned if the bugger wasn't no more'n fives paces away from me, doin' th' same thin'.;
chuckle
}
{say I'll admit, I yalped. But Gart wuz as suprised as I wuz.}
{say My squad came a'runnin' fast, and Gart was still pullin' up his draw'rs.}
{say We chased 'im farther down the river, an' near lost 'im in th' brush.}
{
sigh;
say When we did find 'im, we lost half'r squad, 'cludin 'r leader. See this scar?
}
{
emote points to a large scar beneath his nose.;
say His thumb dun near sliced my head off!
}
{
say We wuz all young.;
emote sighs and gets a far-away look in his eyes.
}
{
say But, we got 'im. It took us awhile, but we got 'im.;
grin
}
{say If ya' ever come across a troll, best bring yourself some fire.}
{say We roasted Gart's arse but good, and left 'is sorry carcass to the wolves.}
{
smile;
say It was my first troll killin'. I ain't never been th' same since.
}
{emote chuckles as he goes back to his work.}
~

#sKarnStory02
{emote turns around to check the grill.}
{say Goblins is th' worst.}
{say Even trolls have a couple manners. Goblins...}
{
emote turns over three or four of the bratwurst.;
say I spen' two years rotting away in their slave pits.
}
{say Nuthin' to live on but skanky water, rancid meat, and...}
{
mob echoat $n "Karn turns to look at you.";
mob echoaround $n "Karn turns to look at $N.";
say rats.
}
{burp}
{say Ever hear that rat tastes like chicken?}
{
say They don'. They taste like rats.;
emote twists his face in disgust.
}
{say Lucky fer me they didn't make a stew of my hide.}
{mob echo "You hear a barmaid call out an order to Karn."}
{say 'Scuse me, but customers must come first.}
{emote smiles and begins working again.}
~

#sKarnStory03
{emote ducks beneath the counter to grab something.}
{mob echo "He stands stands again, and coughs."}
{say Th' meanest troll I ever did meet went by the name of Butch.}
{say He weren't a killer. Well, he killed when he had t', but he preferred injuring and maiming 'is quarry.}
{say See, what made 'im dang'rous weren't th' fact that he fact he would merely cripple ya' an' leave ya' hangin'.}
{
emote begins wiping off the counter with a towel.;
say Nah, he wuz a smart 'un. Trolls ain't normally have the brains to fit a fish.
}
{
say But Butch wuz diff'ren'. You could see it in 'is eyes.;
emote pulls the towel up.
}
{say He preferred scarin' people, so they'd leave 'im alone.}
{
say 'Course, I ain't one to back off a challenge, an' I went huntin' fer the beast.;
chuckle
}
{
emote raises his scarred right arm.;
say An' this is wha' happened when we did meet. He chewed my arm clean off!!;
grumble
}
{
mob echo "Somebody behind you calls for a barmaid.";
say 'Twas the stupidest thin' I done as a pup. I didn't recover for months after dat.
}
{say I did manage one day to track 'im down, tho'.}
{mob echo "A barmaid calls out an order from the bar."}
{say Sorry, will 'ave to save that tale for another time.}
{emote begins to look around for a plate.}
~

#sKarnStory04
{say Look here, I'm kinda busy. Come back later when business's died down.}
{emote continues with his work.}
~

#sKarnStory05
{emote grabs a slice of grilled ham with some tongs and puts them on a plate.}
{
emote turns around and places the plate on the bar.;
say It took me a dozen years, but I managed to find Butch.
}
{say 'Scuse me a sec.}
{yell Order up!}
{say Now, as I wuz sayin', I found Butch, an' he was as mean as ever.}
{say I'd gotten used to havin' no arm, fought in many battles wit' elfs and orcs and other varmints.}
{
mob echo "A barmaid rushes up to the bar and grabs the plate of ham.";
say But, tell th' truth, I wasn't lookin' forward t' Butch.
}
{
say It's th' kinda thin' a youngin' don't git used to.;
mob echo "The barmaid leaves to her table."
}
{
emote strokes his beard as he thinks.;
say But I heard ol' Butch wuz up to his ol' haunts an' tricks, so I went lookin' fer him.
}
{say You know trolls don't get older, just uglier wit' th' years?}
{say Well, I found 'im, near a lake far to th' east, but I can't say if it wuz me who found 'im, or him who found me.}
{say It wuz like he knew I wuz comin', an' laughed when he saw me.}
{say So he looks at me real close, grinz, an' says, "How's yer arm, runt?"}
{say An' next ya' know, he grabs somethin' from 'is backpack. I'll be durned if it weren't my arm!}
{say "Got a gift fer ya'" he says, then throws it into th' lake! "But ya' gotta go through me firs'!".}
{say All this time I thought Butch ate m' arm. Turns out he wuz collectin' parts.}
{cough}
{say If'n ya' go over to th' fireplace, you can see how th' battle turned out.}
{grin}
{say Still, I never did get my arm back. By th' time the battle wuz over, my arm was gone.}
{sigh}
{emote returns to his work.}
~

#sKarnStory06
{say Durin' our war with Elvandar, I wuz caught by a band of wood elves.}
{emote begins polishing a stein.}
{say Dat's where I met Throm.}
{emote gets a far-away look in his eye.}
{say Believe what you will about elfs, but they c'n be as bad as anyone when it comes to takin' pris'ners.}
{say Throm just happen'd t' be in the wrong place at th' wrong time.}
{say Elfs didn't care dat he wasn't a part of'r war, they tossed 'im in same as me.}
{say So we ended up in the pen together.}
{
emote puts down his stein and reaches for a new one.;
say He was a slow 'un, but when th' chips wuz down, he came through fer me.
}
{say My fam'ly came t' rescue me and th' others.}
{say Fights broke out, and the elfs, t' cover their hides, came for us spears bared.}
{say One got too close, tho', an' Throm reaches thrrough th' bars, grabs one by th' neck, and pulls 'is head right through the barz.}
{
chuckle;
say They wuz stunned.;
grin
}
{say What amazed them even more wuz when Throm next grabbed the door, heaved, tore it off it's hinges.}
{say Bah! poorly made elf steel!}
{say We and the others with us fought our way out. Throm took out a handful of elfs hisself.}
{
shake;
say Ne'er had I seen a warrior fight so maniacally!
}
{say That day we became bes' friends.}
{smile}
{emote returns to his work.}
~

#sKarnStory07
{say Throm an' me...}
{
look $n;
say Throm's my bes' friend.;
emote nods with a jerk.
}
{say We wuz huntin' a bounty, an' orc who wuz wanted by my thain, Astragoth.}
{emote turns to check on the grill.}
{say We followed his trail down to th' black market 'neath the city's sewers.}
{
emote turns back to pour a beer into a mug.;
say We took a wrong turn and *zap* I was totterin' on the edge of a volcano!
}
{say 'Twas th' damndest thin'. Turns out Throm was also tel'ported to some island in th' middle of a war.}
{say It took us months to find each other. I caught fire while in that 'cano.}
{
say See here?;
emote grabs his scraggly beard.
}
{say Ain't near as full as it's s'pose t' be. Durned fire.}
{say I also lost the necklace my brother gave me. Some fire newts, that's what they wuz, chased me for days around that volcano.}
{say Anyway we never caught that orc.}
{grin}
{say He was also wanted by some black elfs. They nice and quiet slit his throat.}
{say Cut off both his hands, sent one t' my thain, and kept the other.}
{shiver}
{say Ya' don' wanna mess with them black elfs.}
{emote sets the mug on the tray and begins preparing another.}
~

#sKarnStory08
{say Can't right now, friend. I'm kinda busy with work an' all.}
{emote continues with his business.}
~

#sKarnCleaning01
{emote reaches underneath the bar and brings up a pail of water and a large sponge.}
{emote begins to whistle as he dips his sponge into the pail and sloshes water out onto the bar.}
{mob echo "You hear Karn mutter something under his breath."}
{emote wipes and cleans the bar, then starts in on the stools.}
{hum}
{mob echo "Dipping his sponge in for more water, Karn eyes the walls and begins scrubbing."}
{emote whistles as he works.}
{
say Ah, hm... okay, wuz next?;
emote strokes his scraggly beard
}
{emote takes a look at the grill.}
{say Eh, that can wait. Besides, old meat adds flavorin'.}
{chuckle}
{emote drops his sponge into the bucket, and returns it to its rightful place beneath the bar.}
~

#sKarnCleaning02
{emote reaches in under the bar and grabs out a broom.}
{yell Cleanup time!}
{emote begins sweeping off the floor.}
{mob echo "Off in other parts of the bar you see the barmaids cleaning up."}
{emote puts away his broom, and brings out a pail of water and a mop.}
{emote whistles as he begins mopping the floor.}
{emote looks around at everyone along the bar.}
{
say Be careful. No need for accidents.;
grin
}
{emote takes one more wipe at the floor, then puts away his mop and pail.}
{emote returns to serving the inn's patrons.}
~

#sKatrinaClean
{emote takes a broom from out of the closet and begins sweeping the floor.}
{look}
{emote looks around for any and all scraps she can find on the floor.}
{look}
{mob echo "Finishing up, $I grabs a dustpan from the closet and vigorously sweeps up the trash."}
{mob echo "Dumping the trash in a can behind the bar, $I comes back, puts the broom and pan away in the closet, wipes off her hands, and resumes her duties."}
~

#sFynRandom
{say Another beer over here, please!}
{mob echo "#w'Be there in a minute', says the barmaid.#n"}
{smile}
{hum}
{twiddle}
{
mob echo "The barmaid stops by.";
mob echo "#w'Here you go,' she says.#n";
mob echo "She then places a stein before #cFyn#n, and takes the old one away."
}
{say Ah, nothing in the world like red beer!}
{emote begins drinking from his stein.}
~

#sFynAncientWoods
{say The Ancient Woods is a wild place, full of wolves and bears.}
{say Not to mention a dragon or two.}
{emote takes a long sip of his beer.}
{
nod;
say If I were you, I'd take along a friend or two.
}
{say Oh, yes, and some gold.}
{say There's a troll there who sits on the bridge, insisting on payment for passage.}
{emote sips from his beer stein.}
{say I didn't have a gold piece on me at the time, so I went on my merry way...}
{
say back in the other direction.;
wink
}
{snicker}
~

#sFynCalan
{say Yes, I've been to Calan.}
{say It's a small fishing village on the north shores of the continent.}
{say To get there one must first travel to the city of Belarion.}
{mob echo "#cDietrich#n leans forward in his chair and waves at the barmaid for another beer."}
{say From there it's just a simple matter of going north.}
{say You might seek out Anthion while you're there. Has he got a story or two to tell.}
{chuckle}
~

#sFynDarkMountain
{say Dark Mountain's a scary place, hence the name.}
{shiver}
{say I was lost there for days, but I managed to find my way to a tavern there.}
{say Let me think.}
{say Ah! yes, the name of the place is "Varlans".}
{say Good place, but has nothing like the beer here.}
{chuckle}
~

#sFynKhanae
{say Deserts are perhaps the worst places to get lost in.}
{say You're constantly hot, and the beasts there can be nasty.}
{say Khanae especially. The black scorpions can sting a man to death in no time.}
{emote takes a drink of his beer.}
{say Be sure to bring along lots of water.}
{say I went there in my early days, was my second or third adventure, really.}
{say And I nearly perished, all because I ran out of water.}
{sigh}
~

#sFynSogon
{say Well, I was at Sogon once.}
{emote sips from his stein of beer.}
{say Took a trip across the Dragon Sea to visit another island, and landed at Sogon by mistake.}
{say It's a strange place, and was once home to a wizard by the same name.}
{say I don't expect you'll come to any harm.}
{emote takes another sip of his beer.}
{say The place is now home to the knights who call themselves Silverblades.}
{emote turns from you and returns to his drink.}
~

#sFynSurkan
{say Surkan's a tiny village south of Korum.}
{say Not much to see, really, unless you're in search of adventure.}
{grin}
{say There's trolls and orcs in those hills south of the village, you know.}
{say Not that I ventured very far there.}
{chuckle}
~

#sFynQuest
{say Well, now that you mention it...}
{emote slowly lowers his eyes down towards his feet.}
{say I am in need of a new pair of sandals.}
{chuckle}
{say I'm a vain traveller, and like to look my best.}
{cough}
{say I am looking specifically for a pair of, ahem, Birkenstock sandals.}
{say Think you can get some for me? I will gladly reward you for them.}
{smile}
{emote returns to his drinking.}
~

#sFynReward
{
mob junk all;
say Ah! Thank you very much!
}
{beam}
{say When the time comes that I go in search of further adventure, I can go in style.}
{grin}
{say I'm sure you are happy for me, but am equally sure you would like a reward.}
{smile}
{say Here we go...}
{emote twiddles his fingers and whispers a few words.}
{c 'detect invisibility' $n}
{say Thanks again!}
{emote turns away and begins sipping his beer.}
~

#sBippiJoke01
{say So an elf and a dwarf are hiking in the mountains.}
{say The elf suddenly stops, removes his hiking boots, and starts putting on running shoes.}
{say The dwarf asks why he is doing that.}
{say The elf answers, "I thought I heard a bear."}
{say The dwarf argues, "You can't outrun a bear, even with running shoes."}
{say The elf replies, "I don't need to outrun a bear. I just need to outrun YOU!"}
{mob echo "The bar crowd breaks out in laughter."}
~

#sBippiJoke02
{say This farmer had three daughters. Being a single father, he was kinda protective.}
{say In fact, when men came to the door to take his daughters out, he brought a crossbow with him, just to show them who's boss.}
{say One evenin', all three of his daughters were going out on dates.}
{say The doorbell rang. The farmer grabs his crossbow, and answers the door.}
{say The man at the door says, rhyming as he spoke, "Hi, I'm Joe. I'm here for Flo. We're goin' to the show. Is she ready to go?"}
{say The farmer frowned, but let them go.}
{emote takes a drink of beer.}
{say The doorbell rang again. The farmer grabs his crossbow, and answers the door.}
{say The man at the door says, also rhyming as he spoke, "Hi, I'm Eddie. I'm here for Betty. We're gettin' spaghetti. Is your daughter ready?"}
{say The farmer frowned, but let them go.}
{say The doorbell rang a third time. The farmer grabs his crossbow, and answers the door.}
{say The man at the door says, "Hi, I'm Chuck."}
{say And the farmer shot him.}
{mob echo "People all around start laughing."}
~

#sBippiJoke03
{say One morning the milkman arrives at the house of Mrs. Baker.}
{say Mrs. Baker opens the door, and asks him to come inside.}
{say She invites him to the kitchen, where on the table a huge breakfast awaits him.}
{say The milkman sits down and enjoys this fabulous meal.}
{say Afterwards, Mrs. Baker invites him upstairs, where she shows him a good time.}
{emote nods his head and wiggles his eyebrows.}
{say When they finish, dress, and go back downstairs, Mrs. Baker hands the milkman 50 silver pieces.}
{say The milkman is suprised, and says, "What's this for?"}
{say She replies, "Well, yesterday I told my husband that today was your birthday, and he said, So what? Screw the milkman, and give him 50 silver pieces.' But the breakfast was entirely my idea!"}
{mob echo "Everyone around you begins to laugh."}
~

#sBippiJoke04
{say This priest of Aeris walks along a sidewalk and passes by this young boy.}
{say The priest looks down and sees the boy playing with doggy doo, and asks, "What is Aeris's name are you doing, boy?"}
{say The boy looks up and says, "I'm making a monk of Morrn."}
{say The priest grins evilly, gets an idea in his head, and walks quickly down the street.}
{emote gulps down some beer.}
{say He returns in a few minutes with a monk of Morrn.}
{say "Go ahead," says the priest, "ask him."}
{say So the monk of Morrn asks the boy, "What are you doing with that dog doo, boy?"}
{say The boy continues playing, and replies, "I'm making a monk of Morrn."}
{say The monk frowns and says, "Why in Morrn's name are you doing that?"}
{say The boy looks up and says, "I'm sorry, sir. But I didn't have enough crap to make a priest of Aeris."}
{mob echo "People begin rolling on the floor besides themselves with laughter."}
~

#sBippiJoke05
{say A human, a gnome, and a skaven were travelling through the jungle when they came upon a river.}
{say The human decided to cross first, and halfway across the river a huge alligator came up and swallowed him whole.}
{
mob echo "Someone at a nearby table drops his glass.";
say The gnome, seeing this, was unshaken, and decided to cross.
}
{say The gnome got halfway across the river, when another huge alligator came up and swallowed the gnome whole.}
{say The skaven saw this, but he was unafraid.}
{say So the skaven began crossing the river, and in a few minutes crossed safely to the other side.}
{say The first alligator said to the second, "How come you didn't go after that skaven?"}
{say The second replied, "No thanks. Last time I ate skaven, my ass burned for a week."}
{mob echo "You hear chuckles and chortles from all around the room."}
~

#sBippiJoke06
{say You wanna hear a joke, eh? Okay.}
{emote takes a drink of his beer, then puts down his mug.}
{say There is this couple in Belarion, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year old son about the birds and the bees.}
{say So the father goes to his son's room and says, "Son, do you remember that session I, ahem, arranged for you with young lady Chrissy?"}
{say "Oh yeah, Dad, I remember very well," says the son.}
{say "Well son," the father replied, "it is time you knew that the birds and the bees do the same thing."}
{mob echo "A chorus of laughter rings out from the tables."}
~

#sBippiJoke07
{say Sure, I've got plenty of 'em.}
{say This one's short, but funny...}
{say Why is Skaven beer always served cold?}
{look}
{look}
{say So you can tell it from urine.}
{mob echo "The crowd around you begins to laugh."}
~

#sBippiJoke08
{say Yeah, I got a million of 'em.}
{say Here's one I heard the other day.}
{say A man picks up a young woman in a bar and convinces her to come back to his hotel.}
{emote takes a drink of his beer.}
{say When they are relaxing afterwards, he asks, "Am I the first man you ever made love to?"}
{say She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying.}
{say "You might be," she says. "Your face looks familiar."}
{mob echo "Guffaws and chuckles are heard from all around the room."}
~

#sBippiJoke09
{say Hold on a second. Telling a joke to someone else.}
{emote returns to his conversation.}
{look}
{mob echo "#cBippi#n's audience laughs hard after hearing the punchline to his joke."}
~

#sAtmosphericMobRandom01
{mob echo "A new customer enters the inn through the south door."}
{mob echo "He hangs up his coat and hat on a rack, then heads towards the tables to the east."}
{mob echo "You hear hellos and cheers as the man enters the next room over."}
~

#sAtmosphericMobRandom02
{mob echo "A drunk teeters in from the east."}
{mob echo "#wA drink says 'Noww wheresh m'coat?'#n"}
{mob echo "The drunk hiccups."}
{mob echo "#wA drunk says 'Hare 'tizz.'#n"}
{mob echo "The drunk wobbles a bit as slips on his coat and hat."}
{mob echo "The drunk begins to sing a tune, then heads out the door."}
{
mob echo "#BThe drunk sings 'How dry I aaammmmm! *hic* How dry I aaammmm!#n";
mob asound "#BYou hear someone sing 'How dry I aaammmmm! *hic* How dry I aaammmm!#n"
}
~

#0

#$